Content Editing: Three Emails, the Original and My Edited Version
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A third-party email marketer was tasked with writing these emails and followups. Here is how I turned them into a powerful email sequence.
Original version:
Hi {receiver.first_name}, hope all is well. I noticed your experience in field service management and thought you’d find value in what my team and I have been working on. Verizon, Orange, and Vodafone, for instance, use it every day.
TechSee’s software allows the customer or the field technician to share live video or pictures of what they are working on with their smartphone (no app install needed) - and receive visual, step-by-step instructions overlaid on the video, showing them how to resolve the issue.
The result is dramatically fewer calls to support and dispatches, greater first-call resolutions for your phone agents, and much happier customers.
Can I show you our tech in action on a quick call next week?
After my edits:
Hi {receiver.first_name},
As an experienced field service manager, I think you will find value in what Verizon, Orange, and Vodafone have just upgraded to.
TechSee’s software allows your field technician to share a live video or pictures of what they are working on with their smartphone to receive and receive visual, step-by-step instructions on how to resolve the issue.
This results in:
- Dramatically fewer calls to support
- Fewer dispatches
- Higher level of first-call resolutions for your phone agents
- Happier customers.
Can I give you a short demo next week?
Original version:
Hi {receiver.first_name}, hope all is well. I thought you’d find value in what my team and I have developed. There’s a reason why Vodafone, Orange, and Verizon use our tech every day :)
In short, it’s a visual assistance tool that is able to detect and resolve errors on advanced devices and systems.
The customer or the field technician can use their smartphone to share a live video or an image. Our AI will identify the problem and overlay instructions on their screen of how to install the device or troubleshoot the issue, entirely automatically.
Other than happier customers and agents, it dramatically trims the volume and length of dispatches and relieves a tremendous load on back-office or customer support.
After my edits:
{receiver.first_name},
There’s a reason why Vodafone, Orange, and Verizon have included an AI visual assistance tool in their customer support operations and you should too.
Our TechSee solution can detect product issues and resolve them on the spot for field technicians and customers alike.
All they need is a smartphone to share a live video or an image of the problem. Nobody needs to download an app or log into a system.
Our AI will identify the problem and overlay instructions on their screen on how to install the device or troubleshoot the issue. The process is automated.
This dramatically trims the volume and length of dispatches and relieves a tremendous load on back-office or customer support.
It also makes for happier customers.
{receiver.first_name} would you like a quick demo to see how it works?
Original version:
Hi {receiver.first_name} :) For the past few years, my team and I have been working with the world’s leading telecommunication companies to help them better facilitate technical support needs out in the field.
We developed a virtual assistance tool that is able to detect and resolve errors on advanced devices and systems - enabling customers or technicians with intelligent, remote capabilities and streamlining customer service needs.
The result is a reduction in site visitation by more than half, on average, an increase in first-call resolution rates, and an impressive and efficient customer experience.
There’s a reason why Vodafone, Orange, and Verizon use our tech every day :)
{receiver.first_name} would you have a 20-minute slot sometime next week to explore a potential partnership together?
After my edits:
{receiver.first_name},
Over the past few years, we have been working with the world’s leading telecommunication companies to help them facilitate the technical support needs of their field technicians.
We developed a virtual assistance tool that can detect, diagnose, and resolve product issues on the spot enabling customers or technicians to fix their problems with just a mobile device.
This new solution has:
- Reduced site visitation by more than half
- Increased first-call resolution rates
- Boosted the reputation of those company names using us
There’s a reason why Vodafone, Orange, and Verizon have been on board for years.
{receiver.first_name}, can I give you a quick demo next week to show you what’s possible?
